Ladies and gentlemen…
AS UNAI EMERY THE GREATEST FOOTBALL MANAGER OF ALL TIME WOULD SAY…
“BERST OF ALL GOOD EBENING….” (What? — Ed)
Forthwith, I provide all you kind Madams and Sirs a list of THINGS THAT ARE HARD TO FULLY UNDERSTAND AND THEREFORE DESCRIBE***:
The current league form of the mighty QUEENS PARK RANGERS. We are near the bottom of the Championship table (second tier of English football/soccerball) at this moment in time.
Mankind’s universal inability to extract tomato ketchup from a glass bottle both when first opened and close to being all used up.
King Charles III’s sausage fingers.
The way staples always get jammed in a stapler.
Leonardo Da Vinci’s genius.
The soul-enhancing sound of Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart.
Why butter tastes so good.
The wonderful smell of petrol. Please note, I have not smelt crude oil. (What?!?!?— Ed)
The emergence of Jackson Pollock and other such modern artists.
Why waiters offer to grind out pepper on your food in Italian restaurants.
The mass popularity of white sneakers.
How bees go around buzzing and some such other fascinating creatures (what? — Ed).
Water.
Giraffes.
The temperature at which one must cook fish fingers in the oven. Hint: it’s over 180 degrees centigrade, but below 220 degrees centigrade. That’s 5,890 degrees Fahrenheit (I think you need to check this — Ed).
Why cryptocurrency is going to usher in a new regime of robo-tax collectors that will be able to shoot you in the head if you refuse to pay extortionate levies to our communist overlords.
Haggis.
Gerbils.
*** DISCLAIMER: PLEASE NOTE THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER AND THIS LIST IS BY NO MEANS EXHAUSTIVE. THIS IS ALSO NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE (WHAT?!?! — ED) ***
In my new upcoming novella, the protagonist (Brother Anthony) who is a hermit, contemplates God on a daily basis. As a monk I guess he is expected to do so. But it helps him to separate himself from pain and sorrow.
For as we all know too well, life in this fallen world is a continual series of disappointments and tragedies, punctuated by a few ever-so-fleeting moments of joy.
Brother Anthony tries to detach himself from this vale of tears by thinking deeply about God.
I do not mention the passage in the novella, but he takes his cue, if you like, from this line in the Book Psalms (45:11):
“Be still and see that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, and I will be exalted in the earth.”
Because God is immutable and cannot change, this brings great comfort for Brother Anthony.
Putting his thoughts into words, however, is the trickiest thing I have tried to do since embarking upon my career as the second-greatest self-published novelist of all time — as you can see below.
As way of background, you may want to take in mind that a) Brother Anthony is pious b) He is trained in traditional theology for the priesthood, but is by no means a brilliant thinker or anything like that.
It has always given me great comfort to think of God.
And as I get closer to my demise in this vale of tears, I spend more time than ever contemplating God's nature. How God has always been and always will be. How He had no beginning.
How He is a perfect Being. The Source of all Being. Having all perfections far beyond our every concept of perfection. Unchanging. Infinite. Perfect Intellect. Infinite love. Infinite Knowledge. Unimaginable power.
How He is the Highest Good. The First Truth.
How God knows all things, even our most secret thoughts, words, and actions.
How He cannot not be.
How He is three Persons in one. Wholly expressed as Thinker, wholly expressed as Idea and wholly expressed as Lovingness.
How He loves me and that is why I exist.
Before this section of the novella, I write about how Brother Anthony thinks of God’s work and His creation.
The sky is clear, save for a streak of small clouds to the East. I thank God for ruling that the sky should be blue. What is more beautiful than a clear blue sky, when juxtaposed with lush green vegetation? Some would say a crystal clear blue sea. Or a rushing waterfall. Or a snow-covered mountain. Or a star-filled night. There is much to choose from, even after The Fall. Despite all the death and disease and suffering, it is clear that God created the world and the universe to be beautiful.
I feel a little heat on my face from the sun. I thank God for making our star. And for putting it in the perfect position to allow for life on Earth.
Beyond our solar system, there are so many stars. Stars that we can see here on Earth. That have lit paths for us to follow since the dawn of time. The universe is so vast and seemingly endless. God must have made it that way to display His power to us. Or perhaps, more in keeping with His perfections, to give us beautiful nights and allow us to use the stars to guide us. Or even just to star gaze. In wonder and awe.
I stay on the apex of the hill for some more time. At one point the vista does not appear to have a single soul on it.
In the silence I stay as still as I can. And know that He Is.
As I said, not easy.
Progress report: I am going through my latest round of corrections of The Anchorite. I will soon commission a front and back cover and press PUBLISH and be done with it.
Then I will simultaneously start on the next Albert Poniatowski novel, and my next novella.
Take it easy. And thanks for reading.